“My family, my wife’s family, my coaches, everyone around me ,” Tumolo said. She also knows how important support is and how lucky she is to have received it, not only at Army but throughout her life. As a gay woman, she’s acutely aware of studies that show LGBTQ+ individuals are more likely to struggle with their mental health. Tumolo wants her players to know it’s OK to show emotion.
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The service academies aren’t like any civilian school, so for them to be able to be a part of the game is incredible.” “I love this team, and wanted this so bad for the players. “You want to be able to feel like your complete self and express every emotion,” Tumolo said. Tumolo didn’t bother with a straight-faced façade. But that changed on April 23, when Army took down its rival 14-9. The Black Knights had never beaten the Mids in the Gold Star game, the name for the clash between the two service academies. She isn’t afraid to show that, and she did during a nationally televised game against Navy. But under the surface, they are still human - and so is Tumolo. Instead, they may think of everyone in one uniform with the same straight-faced expression, even in the most dangerous situations.Īnd many of Tumolo’s players will go on to fulfill that idea as members of the military. Ask college players today who they looked up to as kids, and most will tell you about how they stayed up late searching “Michelle Tumolo” on YouTube.īut when people think about Army, their minds may not shift to someone who stands out. As a player, her creative footwork was legendary. For me to be able to be myself and a coach here is a win in that book.” “It really is amazing to be a part of this and to make a change. “I don’t feel alone at all at this place,” Tumolo said. Tumolo appreciates the people who have paved the way for her, and she hopes that she and her assistant, Katrina Dowd, who is also openly gay, can do the same for others. Kaitlyn Kelly, the assistant women’s rugby coach, was a cadet during “don’t ask, don’t tell” and has lent valuable perspective on how far the academy has come. Tumolo knows it wasn’t always this accepting at West Point. She and her wife live on-post at West Point, which is United States Military Academy housing, and feel welcome. Tumolo’s players threw her a bridal shower. It’s another thing to practice it day in and day out. It’s one thing to say you’re accepting and even butter up a top candidate during the interview process. Who Tumolo was - as a coach and person - was more than OK. An All-American and Tewaaraton finalist at Syracuse, Tumolo had most recently led Wagner to a 29-13 mark and one NEC tournament championship in three seasons. And there’s arguably no one better to talk about the game with than Tumolo. Something I am so excited and grateful for is the person who I married, who is a woman. “I am Michelle Tumolo through and through. “As a coach, I am exactly who I am,” Tumolo said. Lara Bennett, at the time her fiancé, came, too - the athletics department invited her, a sign maybe things really had changed.Īs Tumolo spoke with administrators and coaches and learned more about the department, she also made sure they learned about her. Tumolo traveled from Staten Island to West Point for an interview. “You don’t need to be put in a box to be somewhere.” “ to have representation and be who I am at this academy,” Tumolo said. Ultimately, what Tumolo learned only made her want the job more. “They know how important it is for me to be supported and celebrated for who I am,” Tumolo said. Was she sure she wanted to entertain coaching at Army? Tumolo was thriving in her first head coaching job at Wagner and wasn’t even looking to leave. Tumolo did some more research on Army and read up on “don’t ask, don’t tell.” Her family remembered the policy, too, and talked to her about it. “She was quick to assure me that things were not like the past.”
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“I am an openly gay female, and I have been for years,” Tumolo recalled saying. Instead, she told Fowler who she was in the first few minutes of the call. So, when Army Executive Associate Athletics Director Kristine Fowler shot her an email to gauge her interest in the women’s lacrosse head coaching job last summer, Tumolo didn’t ask for permission to be herself. She was never one not to tell people who she was and who she loved. Her coaches and teammates knew she was gay - she’d been out since high school. That same year, Michelle Tumolo led Syracuse with 66 points. The policy ended in 2011 after the Senate and House of Representatives voted to repeal it, and President Barrack Obama signed legislation to end it. Cadets at the United States Military Academy were expected to abide by this policy, which enacted by the Clinton administration and called, “Don’t ask, don’t tell.” Until 2011, a gay person could be in the military, but they couldn’t be out.